Problems Of the Everyday Square
by Reaper monkey
Summary: Daily lives of Tetris blocks...Yeah...Incredibly random. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

RM: …………

And so it was. The blue L shaped block VS. the other blue L shaped block. They were falling, ready to collide. They had no weapon or supplies. Just their own wit. It all came down to this.

" Yo, man, I saw you flirtin with my wife over there!" said the first block.

" Who? Miss straight line over there? I wouldn't flirt with her if she was 3-D!"

" Oh yeah, you **won't** go out with anything that's straight! I forgot."

" Say that to my face, nigga!"

" There aint' no black blocks in Tetris!"

" In the later ones, there was!"

" Yeah, but this is the original Tetris! Not frickin' Tetris worlds!"

" Yeh, but there aint' no white blocks either! So what does that make us?"

" I don't know! Ask your Mom when you get demoted to Pokemon!"

" Ah, that broke the line right there!"

" Nah,the only thingthat broke was your Mom's water after she had that elephant! Then the elephant had **you**!"

" But then my Mom wouldn't have the elephant, dumbass!"

" Yeah, she just had every other animal in the world!"

" Yeah, what are you, a cross between a baboon's ass and your sister? Oh, yeah, then you'd just be a hairy ass!"

" Man, your just- Before he could finish he collided with the other block, and they created a double combo, killing them both in the process.

**Next Time…**

A tetris block becomes a pixel for the main character of a World War II game. **Will he survive?**

RM: Uuuuuuuuuh… Yeah…


	2. Chapter 2

RM: Finally, after accumulating enough reviews, I'm ready to update! Thank you, people who actually took the time to review. I'm sort of down today cuz' my best friend just said I'm not his friend anymore, cuz' apparently I'm a loser. But enough jibber-jabber! On with the show!

"For all of the people out there tired of regular chewing gum, try **new** exploding gum! It's made with **real** napalm! It's also from the creators of Big Mama's House 2, and Bruce Bigallo: European Jigallo! That's right, the W.O.M.D. (Weapons Of Mass Destruction)! Although it's not currently available in America, it **is** available at a foreign weapon factory near you! Finally, it will only be available until the end of the Iraqi War! In other words, there is an endless supply! So get out and buy the only infadel approved product on the market!"

The red L-Shaped block turned off the commercial, and went to school. He went in to class.

The teacher (Mr. **Green** L-Shaped Block) was talking about Montu Picchu.

"Montu Pikachuuuuuuu!" Shouted the red L-Shaped block. The class laughed. After class was over, his teacher tapped them on the shoulder and dragged him back to class.

"Son, you've been drafted."

"To Pokemon'? **NOT AGAIN!**"

"No, it's almost half as bad. You've been forced to become the pixel for the main character of a low-budget World-War Two Game."

"Damn, life's a bitch!" Shouted the child block.

After a few months, the block returned.

"It got cut before it got into stores!" He yelled in happiness.

His girlfriend, the Purple Straight Line put him in a chair, and put in a disc that read "Intimate Music" on the front. It started playing.

**PEANUTBUTTER JELLY TIME**

Peanut butter **JELLY**, Peanut butter **JELLY**, **Peanut butter jelly, peanut butter jelly!**

**PEANUTBUTTER JELLY TIME**

To be continued…

RM: Next time: Another block. Another story. Two kings fight for the ultimate title: To be 3-D. The gargantuan sized, poorly written, and totally out of line **FINAL CHAPTER**. Next time on **PROBLEMS OF THE EVERYDAY SQUARE!**


	3. Chapter 3

RM: After re-uniting with my inner comedian, I have decided to finish my story... I'm taking requests right now for one-shots. So if you have a TV show or video game or anime or ANYTHING that you think I could make a half-decent story out of, send them in NOW. **OR FOREVER BE SILENT.**

Part 1: **The Villain**

In a world where Tom Cruise worships an alien, and the Numa-Numa dance is the most popular thing since the Moonwalk, one thing stands above the insanity…

**DANCE DANCE REVOLUTION**

"Now, whether you're living in the days of mullets and trailer trash actresses getting pregnant, (2006), or a morbidly obese zombie who watches **Desperate House Wives** all day and eats Chocolate Pudding with drunken old people (2006), then maybe, just maybe, you're a loser. **BUT** Dance Dance Revolution will make you look like a loser around **other people**. Probably **LAUGHING AT YOU**. But isn't laughter the best medicine? Order Dance Dance Revolution today, you **DUMBASS LOSER!"**

The yellow L-Shape block turned off his Tivo and went to school. Only to discover that he was in a completely different town over-run by zombies! Oh, and U2 was playing there. And they were filming a movie or something. Anyways… **THE TOWN WAS COMPLETELY DESERTED AND INFESTED WITH MAN-EATING ZOMBIES!**

Then, suddenly, a man appeared out of the shadows.

"Hello, Mr. 2D. Do you mind if I call you that? I've always wanted to call someone that."

"Oh my god. Are you Urkle?"

"I **was** Urkle. Now I'm… Jose Asscrack."

"Bad end of a green card?"

"Yeah. Hey, how come the main characters of this story are boring and talk much.

RM: Cuz'it's my style! Now shut up Urkle, and say you're line!

"Fine. **HAIL SATAN**!"

"Oh my gosh. I think he might be a **BUDDHIST!**"

**End Of Part 1**

Part 2: **U2?**

RM: Now I could tell a complicated background story here, but I'll just say that the main character **HAPPENS** to be a U2 fan. **ON WITH THE PLOT!**

"McDonald's McFlurrys."

"Hey girl, can I have a large McFlurry?"

"All the boys come to the yard to drink my milkshake. Damn right, it's better than yours, damn right, it's better than yours!"

"Our milkshakes use REAL black chocolate, unlike those trailer-trash restaurants like Burger King and Arby's."

**McDonalds. I'm lovin' it.**

"So how am I gettin' in to this concert. It may be the only way I can… Whoa! It's Oscar Myer Weiner Mobile! Wow! Hmmm… I know! I'll sing **my** Oscar Myer jingle! Oh, I wish I had an Oscar Myer Weiner! Then all the girls would be on top of me!"

**Two KanYe West careers later…**

"I can't believe that I got kicked out! Now there's only one thing left to do: I'll have to make a band and beat Urkle in Battle Of the Bands!"

**End Of Part Two**

Part Three: **Battle Of the Bands**

"Baby, girl, I want to get you a special ring. So… I'm going to let you pick it out."

"Oh, Lance!"

**One and A Half Friends Seasons Later…**

"I didn't mean a dick piercing!"

"Oh, but Lance, it matches!"

"Every #$ begins with Kay."

"Hello, I'm Urkle. I'm going to sing a little song I made called "Butterflys!"

**NO RESPONSE**

"Well, fck you, too! Thank you."

"Hello. I'm the yellow L-Shaped blocks. I got together with my good friends in Slayer, and I uh… We're just gonna improvise."

"#$$$$$$$$$$$#$$$#$#&&(SHIT)&$#$#$$$#$#$$!"

"Thank you."

"And the winner is Tetris!"

"I'll be back. Mr. 2D."

"We'll see, Urkle. We'll see."

And then the yellow L-Shaped block became 3-D, moved to the Playboy Mansion, and totally got laid. In other words:

**He lived happily ever after.**

**The End**

RM: If anyone's wondering: Yes, I'm white, and yes, I'm a dumbass. Thanks for reading. And, um… Yeah.


End file.
